Week One: An Email About Money

From: Kate Geyer
To: Leah
Date: Sat, Dec 18, 2010 at 4:14 PM
Subject: Re: Clean up! --

Dear Leah,

I feel a bit bad too about that amount; because I am just learning about what things costs and how much money goes how far and what my labour constitutes. So I'd be more than happy to take the $60 cash because that is what I quoted and plus you are my good shop and did me a big favour. 

So if you'll just let me wash my mouth out for shocking you with such a figure and I hope you'll keep me in mind for any future flower extravaganzas?

I'll drop by tomorrow.


k x

Week Two: An Email That Gives Advice

From: Kate Geyer
To: Harry
Date: Tue, Aug 2, 2011 at 11:23 AM
Subject: Re: another story


hey. Did you manage to submit a story for Spineless Wonders? I got mine in and am pretty happy with it. I've just realised though that the Lord Mayor's creative writing awards submission closes at the end of August, so we haven't got long. I'd like to help you to write something you are really into, which I think will just require a little bit of editing and revising and planning. I'm sorry if I haven't given you adequate feedback on the 3 stories you have so far given me, I'm am happy that you're showing me your writing and I feel very privileged and grateful. 

Possibly it would be better for you to concentrate on one at a time, giving it a bit of thought and sticking with it until you have something you are happy with. It's harder work but ultimately I think it would be more satisfying for you. Just the fact you can pump out 3 pretty lengthy stories in a bit over a week shows that you are a great writer with plenty to say and I'd really be happy to continue to give my support to you if you'd be up for that. 

I think it would benefit you to work out what you want you want to say within your story in order to make it as clear as possible (and therefore easy for the reader). I think the themes you are exploring such as lust and desire and dissatisfaction and confusion are really worthy things to write about. I'd like to be privy to more of the protagonists motivations - why are they acting in this way and perhaps it would help if you thought about yourself and what drives you, and also what do you value? I think your stories also are a way to explore your desires and this is interesting; how about a story about this? What happens to someone who can only commit to the characters they make up in their head? And how this affects their 'real' life? Just an idea...

Maybe we can get together and have a brainstorm. I'm looking for a new idea for a story and want to do something completely different myself. I've also got a book of really imaginative, amazing short stories for you to borrow. They opened my eyes about the possibilities of short stories and I think they would be great for you to read. Especially if you read a lot of novels the short story can be a hard thing to grasp. Also: get yourself on twitter. The 140 characters is perfect training for being as clear and succinct as possible.

Ok! Enough advice, sorry if I've overdone it. I want you to keep writing, it makes me happy because for so long I didn't let myself write because I was too afraid of what would come out. So anything is truly better than nothing, which makes you a thousand times better writer than me. 

Have a good week Haz, I'll see you perhaps on Friday. (Rach invited me to see Planet of the Apes but I've got uni all day, unless you go after 6:30pm)

Love , gert x

Week Three: An Email That Mentions Barack Obama


From: Kate Geyer
To: J
Date: Fri, May 29, 2009 at 5:53 PM
Subject: This is not a first draft (but it's also not a final edit).
Hi J,
Well fuck! Way to make me completely self conscious about grammar right now. But I'm also sufficiently buoyed by the lovely things you said in you email. So gee whizz, thank you and I'm glad you noticed my profile floating out there amongst all that chaff. Their are a lot of freaky ppl out they're (I'm sorry, I couldn't resist).
Firstly I'll address what I think is a valid question. I think I am 'on there' for one of the following reasons:
Sometimes I forget to swing my arms when I walk. It can be distressing for those whom I'm walking with, especially when I remember to do it and then overcompensate.
I also forget sometimes that it is nice to share. But I think that's a societal fault because everything is made for one person, except pizza. Pizza is perfect to share.
I'm not coquettish enough for real life. Perhaps if a bird viewed me flirting in their bird-time they would see my alluring powers, but in regular time it comes across like I have a toothpick stuck up my gum.
Anyway, your profile was a great read. I'm glad you value important things in a woman - such as grammar, because if it wasn't clear yet I really strive for grammar elitism. And now I'm thinking: perhaps I'm not really looking for a man but just a big, well formed letter to snuggle next to. I'd be such a letter whore if that was the case because I don't think my loyalty could ever lie with only one letter (please do not read this as an indication of my attitude to monogamy) but at the moment I'm a bit taken with 'B'. Pretty classy.
You orthodontic adventures sound quite harrowing. I think crooked is a bit of a state of mind anyway. Once you've had those teeth climbing out of your mouth in all different directions you can never go back. Same could be said for knocking side mirrors off cars with a lacrosse stick. I'm in awe.
And I now have a confession to make: I am a self-professed Yankophile. Basketball, Beastie Boys, Bagels; I am thoroughly obsessed. I get a weekly subscription to the New Yorker which I like to think of as my prescription. There seems to be no cure or no explanation for this affliction but I thought I should make you aware of a slight enthusiasm I suffer from (although these days it doesn't seem to be greeted with as much eyebrow raising as Before Obama). So what prompted your move over here? On the run? I guess you really should have left notes on those cars.
I've already had two tries at sending this off but in between a really accommodating (!) casual arthouse cinema job and watching Party Down (which helps in making me feel better about said casual job). I have been sticking sentences together like I have all the time in the world. So just one more – what are you doing on RSVP?
Hope to hear from you soon,
Kate G

Week Four: A Business Email  

From: Gert Geyer
To: Courtney
Date: Tuesday, 12 February 2013 1:33 PM
Subject: Re: such n' such


Good to hear from you. It sucks re: your vertigo virus, that sounds awful and kind of hard to manage, considering the abundance of screens necessary for general life. Ew, give me a pen and paper any day.

Flowers are much easier on the eyes and brain, and for that reason I would recommend their healing powers! But the whole industry is in complete contradiction to what flowers are: beautiful, gentle, natural things. It's a bit earnest to write but that's what drove me away from the scene. Florists are trying so hard to keep their product alive - fighting against nature - with chemicals and freezing cold fridges and that's just stressful for everyone involved. It takes so much labour to make a flower and the farmers, wholesalers and florists are all trying to take a cut from a $5 bunch. That's where things get tight.

Many of the self-employed florists were the most stressed out and hardest working people I'd met. Very often they were up for the markets at 3am and got through the day with smoking and coffee and went home to write themselves off. That is a generalisation and I do think things are changing with little, bright shops like Fowlers Flowers and people who are just a bit smarter about it.

I think a career can be made out of flowers but if I was to have another shot I'd try to work for businesses and retailers who need creative installations for shop windows, or magazine photoshoots. Bridal work is in abundance but if you work in a shop they usually keep you wrapping the cheap bunches and give the good jobs to the senior florist.

The other thing about the industry is that it's predominately female and can be unsupportive and competitive. And it can be physically tiring, lifting heavy buckets (flowers are light but water is heavy!) and chopping stems on your feet all day. Apprentices generally get paid less than $20/hr, and that's after studying too. But I am sure there are cool places to work as a lot of the older-cellophane-and-teddy-

bear-ladies are getting too old and they're being overtaken by cutesy-terrarium-gen Ys, which is a good thing! Mr. Lincoln looks good and there's a shop on High St which is low-key and friendly. I think Flowers Vasette is a bit cut-throat. I also think selling flower bouquets at farmer's markets could also be a way to work outside the traditional industry.

Goodness, what an outpouring. I do not mean to dissuade you though, because if it's something you want to do you should totally do it. Even if it doesn't end up where you thought it would. I'm so glad I did my Cert 2 (which was 2 days/week for 6 months. Didn't do a Cert 3 which is a day/week for 12 months), because I learnt all the names of the flowers which is a cool thing to know AND I did my sister's wedding flowers and am shortly doing flowers for a friend's wedding. Plus, I feel a little qualified to be writing/blogging about flowers for the bridal mags, as I'm doing now.

I'm sure you couldn't possibly have any more questions, but if you do feel free to fire them at me! I mentioned that I was in contact with you to Jean and she said she was keen to get in touch. Perhaps the three of us could grab a coffee in the near future.

Anyhow! Best to you little lady.
Be in touch,

gert X

Week Five: An Email About Something You Want

From: Kate Geyer
To: veganbunnygirl
Tue, Aug 2, 2011 at 1:49 PM
Subject: Companion Rabbit Wanted
Hi Leigh,
Please find attached the Rabbit Wanted document I found on the AAPS website. I'm just beginning the search to find my one year old boy rabbit a suitable companion and would be interested in meeting any rabbits that you think would be suitable.
Many thanks,
Kate Geyer

Week Six: An email to Your Mom

From: Gert Geyer
To: Mum
Date: Wed, Jun 12, 2013 at 9:43 AM
Subject: Morning

Hi Mum,
How are you doing today? Hope you're feeling ok.
I was wondering if I should perhaps book Bert in to see the vet as his back leg was troubling him this morning. He didn't walk as it was dragging along - looking a bit numb or paralysed. He is still in his bed and hasn't come up for his second breakfast.
What do you think?
Love you,
gert xO

Week Seven: An Email That Includes A Dream You Had

From: Kate Geyer
To: G
Date:  Fri, Dec 14, 2012 at 10:27 AM
Subject: Re: Steven

I like drunken emails. They're better than drunken journal rants and drunken smashing bottles to the ground and drunken list-writing. 
I am enjoying this rain, drinking some coffee and listening to a friend in another room desperately scouring the state for an available Christmas camper-van. Last night I went to a cousin's 21st birthday dinner and felt weighed down amongst all my extended family, so overtly growing old and weary and plain. Then I reread the story I sent you and it made everything better.
I'm gradually checking people off as I catch up with them. It's been lovely this homecoming but despite not knowing you before I left, I've really felt very much at home mucking about with you. I feel a bit different from who I was when I left Melbourne 18 months ago and you're responding to who I am now, not who I was. That's my theory anyway.
That's also the first taxi-ride email I've ever received. I'm living in a world of firsts! That feels nice.
x gertie
P.S I thought it important to tell you I dreamt of Baz Luhrmann, the film director last night. Which means that in one week I dreamt of two directors: Paul Thomas Anderson and Baz. It's strange and slightly wonderful to dream of a director.